It should be pointed out that fixing a relationship after cheating will never be easy. In some cases, nothing can be done except end the relationship and move on. Before you give up, however, consider the following.
What to Do if You Cheated
The first step is acknowledgement. Tell your partner the truth, nothing more nothing less. Do not attempt to justify your actions by laying the blame on your spouse. Instead just tell the truth; it was a moment of weakness and you were tempted. Say you’re sorry and it was a mistake.
Ask your partner if you can be given a second chance. When fixing a relationship after cheating on your part, do not make any demands. Don’t say “I deserve a second chance, I’m human.” Allow your partner to decide that. If you’re given a reprieve, say thank you and that it won’t happen again.
At this point, you should try to make amends. Rather than giving expensive presents, it’s better to change your ways. This isn’t just about being faithful; it also means removing your other unsavory habits.
For example, you can give up smoking, drinking or gambling every weekend. Don’t make a big deal out of it; your spouse will notice it in due time.
If a special occasion is coming (birthday, Valentine’s Day etc), buy something extra special. If you are fixing a relationship after cheating, do not bring the subject up again unless your partner does. They may be trying to put it behind, so don’t open old wounds.
What to Do if Your Partner Cheated
Ask yourself if you’re willing to forgive. It doesn’t matter if they confessed freely or they only did so after you found out. As the aggrieved party, you have a right to be hurt. However, don’t do anything rash.
If your partner confesses and asks for forgiveness, ask for some time. You’re feeling angry and betrayed, so don’t rush into any action. If you are interested in fixing a relationship after cheating, say so.
However, you need to be honest about this. If you’re really interested in forgiving your partner, make them feel like they’re forgiven. Once you’ve had a discussion, don’t keep bringing it up.
There’s no need to make them feel guilty over and over. You may never be able to forget what happened, but do your best to make them feel forgiven.
Other Suggestions
If needed, go to a counselor and talk about your problems. Asking advice from trusted friends and family is all right. However it’s best if you try to keep the matter as confidential as possible.
Regardless of who cheated, it’s crucial that the circumstances that led to the transgression be avoided. The best way to avoid temptation is to steer clear from the people and places that lead to it.
Fixing a relationship after cheating will never be easy. You need to be realistic about this, but you should at least try. If you’re both willing, the relationship may be salvaged.
