Unlike mechanical problems, there is no precise procedure to follow when you try to repair relationship break ups. Because emotions are involved, the results can be unpredictable. Nevertheless, a few simple guidelines are worth remembering.
Acknowledge Your Shortcomings
Unless this is done, the problem will never be resolved. Whatever transgressions have been committed need to be acknowledged. Admitting your mistakes won’t solve all the problems. Neither does it mean you and your partner can get back together again. But at the very least your partner or ex will see that you’re brave enough to admit your mistakes.
Stay in Touch
If the break up was somewhat amicable, you should still keep in touch. You don’t need to call every day, but do send messages on special occasions (i.e., birthdays, holidays etc).
Trying to repair relationship break ups that ended bitterly is harder. After acknowledging your mistake, give your ex some time alone. Take advantage of special occasions to send a message, card etc. If they respond, slowly start a regular correspondence.
After a while, ask if it’s okay for you to meet in person. Do not bring up the cause of the break up. When you meet, just ask how they’ve been. Focus on neutral topics.
At this point you shouldn’t even be thinking of courting again. When you are friends again, the courtship can begin. Ask for a second chance; there’s no need to apologize endlessly. Instead of saying you’ll change, show it.
Be Patient
When trying to repair relationship break ups, remember that it takes time. A relationship can end in seconds with a few harsh words. Picking up the pieces may take weeks, months or years.
Depending on the severity of the beak up, it may take years before you even start speaking to each other again. But you can’t hurry this process; you’re dealing with someone who is hurting as badly as you are.
Never Make Assumptions
This is very important. You cannot presume your ex will respond in this or that way. In some cases, the other party may be willing to talk and reconcile a few hours after the split. Others may need more time. Take everything one step at a time. Don’t assume that after confessing your mistakes everything will be okay, you’ll go to the movies etc.
Other Tips to Repair Relationship Break Ups
Don’t use their friends to try and establish a communications link with your ex. They probably know about the situation already and won’t respond too kindly. If you do make contact, don’t sound too desperate nor be defensive. Don’t say things like “I’ll admit my mistakes if you admit yours.”
Think about the problem too. Unless its root cause is identified and fixed, it will crop up again. You need to make a concerted effort to address the issue and fix it permanently.
There are no quick and easy ways to repair relationship break ups. In some cases it may not work at all. But if the relationship is worth saving, you should try these methods.
